Life? with Alzheimer's

Since my last post I have helped my dad move my mom into an assisted living home for people with Alzheimer's. She is now safe and well taken care of. The cost is $72,000.00/year. Once my parents run out of money, we will have to apply for Medicaid and move my mother to a regular nursing home to live out the rest of her life in Depends, taking Risperdal to help keep her calm.

  I once read an ethics article that argued that a person before developing Alzheimer's or other dementias, couldn't make decisions for the person they would become with the disease. The author argued that the person with dementia may well have a quality of life and take pleasure in things that the person before dementia might not consider worthwhile. The author used the example of a dementia patient becoming interested in painting, which gave them pleasure, something to look forward to and take pride in. 

  I know now that the author must have had only limited experience with actual people with dementia, and possibly none with people with advanced dementia. My mother is not "taking pride" or looking forward to any activities, because she can no longer think in such linear terms.  She is pleased to see friendly people and accepts the food and clothes and activities offered to her, but she does not appear to value them or seek them out in any way. She is no longer capable of planning, recognizing, organizing, or inhibiting actions -- all signs of humanness. 

  One thing that this experience has taught me is that I'm not a murderer. As much as I want my mother to leave this life peacefully, she gave no advanced directives that encourage us to do anything other than wait for a terminal illness to take her. We have decided as a family to not treat any illness that my mother develops, but right now she is exceedingly healthy, physically.

  So, I will state right now that if I develop dementia and get to point where I no longer recognize my children and do not have control of my elimination, I would like to be helped to take an overdose of sleeping medication. I already plan to stockpile what I'll need, but I'm sure I'll need help to actually take them. And I hope that my family or friends will help me do it.