I hate cancer!

Happy New Year! But is it??? I got some bad news on New Year's Day thanks to Google: breast cancer survivors who drink 3 alcoholic beveridges as week have a 30% higher rate of recurrence than survivors who don't drink. There goes wine with dinner and a way to relax after getting arrested and killed at work -- an occupational hazard of play therapy.

My birthday is Jan. 2 and it was nice, but its also the birthday of a friend of mine who died of breast cancer and is buried very near my house -- a hazard of living near a cemetary; quiet neighbors but continual reminders of our mortality.

Then, one of my best, best friends sent me a jacket for my birthday -- its beautiful and warm, but my first reaction was one of relief. I hadn't heard from her for awhile and my first thought was that her breast cancer had recurred -- she's a survivor too.

So all this leads to the profound statement: I HATE CANCER!!!

It is also upsetting that its been 6 years since my diagnosis and I'm still dealing with it on a daily basis -- mostly because I see myself in the mirror. And I need more surgery according to my plastic surgeon. And I am still on tamoxifen every day. And my implants bother me, especially when I slouch, which hasn't even improved my posture!

Sorry for a whiny post, but life sucks, it's just better than the alternative!